This is an exerpt from a newsletter I just received from a favorite musical artist of mine. It reminds me of the writing of a famous author I know...SD Smith perhaps? Anyway, enjoy! "I just bit into the first real apple of the season -- no real apple is harvested before September -- and I'm now ready for Fall. Who says Autumn when you can say Fall? Fall is clearly the only choice. Now, I'm the first to admit that Autumn is a pretty word, cool and crisp, even has something of a color to it, like a mixture of auburn and tan. But it's also pretentious -- that 'mn' at the end is downright snooty. Not to mention, any word beginning with THAT sound, the 'aw' sound, is an elitist's dream (see 'haughty'). "Harold darling, what is your favorite season to drink tea?" "By the crown, I believe it's AUGHtumn." Plus, the word doesn't flow. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall drifts along, a boat upon the waves. Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn? Clunk. Shipwreck. Death and dismemberment. Anyway, back to apples. Am I the only applist out there who believes the Red Delicious to be a gross misnomer? How about Red Tasteless? Or Waxy Waste of Jaw Musculature? I'm still stuck on the noble Macintosh, and it's not because I'm under some subliminal influence of all things Steve Jobs. (Although, turn this around and see what you get -- would the company really have christened all its PCs after a mediocre species of apple?) The pop, the initial tartness, the subsequent, balancing sweetness, the way the red and the green bleed together, like an oil painting left out in the rain. Truly my desert island food. I'm a fan of science at least half the time, and I am happy to add my name to the Let's Keep Crossbreeding Apples Declaration. Many have tried the cheerfully-named, sounds-like-a-breakfast-cereal Honeycrisp, and most have been pleased with the results. But have you ever had a Haralson, the most brilliant pie-apple ever engineered? Sometimes, the lab IS better. Granny Smith are good, although it's hard not to feel old eating one, both because of the name and for the way you have to screw up your face to cope with the sour. Golden Delicious are a decent choice; a bit bland, but still good enough to earn the dubious "better than a candy bar" rating. (Kind of like describing a movie as a 'renter.') It breaks my heart to see this heavenly fruit adulterated by such dastardly entities as Mott's and Veryfine. More like Veryfake. What part of apple do you not understand? I mean, let's all agree the biggest fruit & vegetable martyrs are potatoes captured by McDonald's, but apples destined for Mott's run a close second. (Recall your favorite Robert Frost poem here.)" I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. It makes me feel like it's fall time down here in the land of eternal heat and summer. Wow, two posts in one day. I'm on a role.