World Class, I mean Cup, hair

I have been voraciously watching the World Cup matches over the last few weeks. Yes, I said voraciously. I think it's good to dust off a few long words now and then. I found some very interesting things at espn.com, the following being a prime example. A link to the full page is here, if you care to check it out further. Diego Maradona, ArgentinaStyle: Thick 'n' curly. Sorta like armpit hair. Status: Actively expanding, same as Maradona's waistline. Inspired by: "CHiPs"-era Erik Estrada. Fellow World Cup travelers: Too many to count. But Team Argentina is a good place to start. Resembles: A department store wig; a semidry Jheri curl. Fashion statement: Ha -- let's see Pele grow a pelt like this! Practical value: Pushy autograph seekers are easy to avoid. Just put on a muumuu and pretend to be a middle-aged woman. For best results: Combine with cocaine and food addictions. That way, you have an excuse for not finding a better stylist. Possible complications: If not properly conditioned every 48 hours, hair might spontaneously combust.